It was one of those days. The weather was grim, cold, wet and gusts of wind were thrashing wildly about the awning of the cafe. It was the perfect day to stay at home a cuddle up to my blankets but friendship calls! We braved the weather and headed out for a spot of retail therapy to brighten our day, hmmm maybe it is true what they say every cloud has a silver lining (pardon the pun). As we sat down with our collection of purchases the conversation flowed before we knew it we had ventured into a topic that frequently arises in everyone’s lives, relationships.

However this was unlike many other conversations we had had before. It was not a conversation of what went wrong? Is he interested? Rather it was about how our past relationships have affected how we approach relationships now and how we act in relationships as a result. I’ve frequently heard what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger but what if experiencing those negative events and people makes you insensitive? What if you to some extent become like that person who did that to you? or as we put it have our experiences with those douches turned us into the douches? (May not be a politically correct term but its a simple as it can be).

Women are constantly portrayed as the victims, always getting played, getting the raw deal in relationships. But is this the case anymore? Have we become so fed up that we don’t care if we hurt anyones feelings? Or is it simply a defence tactic, get them before they get you? Or maybe in its own weird unique way it’s a case of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, the experiences felt as strong as these gusting winds when they happened but perhaps it is the calm after the storm.

Sometimes I really do wonder will I ever learn the answers to these questions….


In case anyone missed the outpouring displays of love and affection or PDA’s yesterday was Valentine’s day or for some single awareness day :p. In the past I admit I would have let out a sigh at the thought of Valentine’s day and tried to avoid it like the plague! But this year was different, I think I had been through enough in the last year to just be content with myself and life. I had survived some of the worst experiences in my life that I never imagined I would experience at this age and if I had thought of them before I would never have contemplated surviving them of handling them the way I have. Sometimes it is true, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger unfortunately it can be a very emotional journey until you get to that point.

But back to my original line of thought, I was perfectly content with my single label on Valentine’s day, it would happen when it happens. However as the day progress others on the other side of the Valentine’s day fence were not quite feeling the same. As more and more flowers started arriving some girls with boyfriends who had not sent them flowers yet began to feel the pressure. I began to think whatever your status single, in a relationship or it’s complicated we all share the same fear, rejection.

Are we loved? Are we loved enough? We begin to contemplate these things when we are exposed to other peoples displays of love. However there are many ways to show this it doesn’t have to be just with flowers and chocolate. Showing someone you care can do more than a box of roses and chocolates. Our fear of rejection may never completely disappear but I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason and for every person who leaves your life there’s room for another and without having the bad experiences we wouldn’t really know or appreciate when we have a good one. Am I saying return the flowers and chocolates? no.. we all like to be spout sometimes :p rather I am trying to say appreciate the meaning behind them and not just in a lover relationship but in all relationships those people are in your life because they care and love you and that’s 365 days of the year not just one.

When I grow up


Remember that moment as a child when all you wanted to do was play with the big kids or you couldn’t wait till you were old enough to play with make up, no matter how disastrous those photos of that moment may be now? We all just wanted to be able to do all those things that everyone else was able to do. It seemed exciting! Fun! But had I know then what I know now maybe I wouldn’t have wanted to grow up.

Let me take a minute to explain, no I haven’t been sitting around watching Peter Pan all day. But I think what we don’t realise at that stage of life is as we get older life gets hard, really hard sometimes. Sure this is part of becoming an adult, everyone experiences it but as children we live our lives only seeing the fun parts of being older and not realising that it isn’t always smooth sailing.

Sometimes life can get overwhelming! This is the part we don’t see as children. With the fun, the make up, the clothes comes having to stand on your own two feet. This isn’t a bad thing it’s just that sometimes this can be a scary thing. It’s no longer a fantasy playing dress up or raiding your mum’s make up, it’s real. A make up wipe can’t get rid of mistakes anymore or can’t lessen the responsibilities of adulthood.

My aim isn’t to freak anyone out, rather what I’m trying to say is when we were younger we had no idea of what life was actually like and it can be scary and that’s ok. As adults we put so much pressure on ourselves to keep it all together all the time when sometimes we feel just like that little child and have no idea what we are actually doing or getting ourselves into and guess what? That’s ok! We’re all entitled to get overwhelmed and freak out every now and again, why? because life isn’t always as easy or as fun as we thought it would be. So if you want to cry, cry. If you want to laugh, laugh. Sometimes we all need to have a moment and just go back to being that child when life was simple.

It’s amazing how quickly time can slip away from us. To me it only seemed like yesterday that I posted my latest blog entry. But time has that ability it can seem to be so long and yet like none has passed at all. The past months have been some of the most difficult and draining I’ve ever experienced, it’s moments like those that make time feel like it drags on. However then you those moments where you see your family and your friends and suddenly you forget what is was that was bothering you or you see the bigger picture in life.

This was all even more evident on new years eve. The one night in the year where everyone reflects on the good, the bad, the exciting, everything that happened and how they changed in those 365 days. For me I sat there and felt like I had lived so many different lives and experiences in that one year I didn’t even know what or how I should feel. I had lost the most amazing person in my life, gained some true friends I can count on and learnt sometimes people aren’t who you think they are and you need to stand on your own two feet. Should I run away from that? Sure I can, but will that change anything? No.

So while we sat there enjoying each others company, sharing memories and just a few champagnes I didn’t completely feel excitement about the year ahead. Rather I looked at the year that had been and thought what’s next? and that can be a scary thought. But while it can be scary it can also be positive, while in 2013 much of what occurred was beyond my control and some things were too much for me to handle 2014 doesn’t have to be the same. Sure there will still be things beyond my control but what about the things I can control?

The use of the word control does seem harsh but if I don’t like something in my life sometimes I’m the only person who can take charge and change that for the better. So rather than making new years resolutions, that lets face it by about mid January it’s all over, I decided to make goals. I don’t want to be stuck in the same rut on new years eve 2014 and nothings changed so I’m going to work at changing and reaching my goals so that way I can feel like I utilised the 365 days I had.

Hope that brought about a little inspiration to day 17! ūüôā

It seems to me that I always tend to contemplate (or over analyse) virtually every aspect of my life when I’m alone. To some extent this is pretty common, throughout the day we are all distracted by work, friends, study, kids or whatever it may be that in some ways we are oblivious to the elephant in the room…ourselves (I don’t mean the elephant thing literally, it’s just a figure of speech). When the day has slowed and we’re getting ready to recharge for it to all begin again is when we are often faced with the issues that we were too busy to face or just wanted to ignore. There is no escaping your own mind sometimes.

Today what I was faced with was the past. Not just thinking about the things I had done or achieved but more importantly the people who had been an integral part of my life, the people I had always seen as part of my future and now the uncertainty and fear of knowing that they wouldn’t be there. In this sense the past seemed like a much happier and calming place than the present or the future.

It got me thinking, is wishing for the past or looking back on it as opposed to looking forward such a bad thing? Is it bad to think of what had been? Sometimes the thought of where our lives once were can be the comfort we need to get through any tough situation in the present.

So I sat and I wondered and I’d like to know what you’re thoughts are too!

One of my all time favourite movie scenes is in the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory where all the children are at the candy bar. Just watching this scene makes you imagine all the smells and flavours all the different types of candy have. I remember watching this and thinking that all the flavours and tastes were endless.

This is how I felt after going on a make up binge! All the colours, all the products each serving their own amazing purpose. I imagined all the possibilities, all the looks I could create. Where to begin! (The extra large coffee I had today only increase my excitement, caffeine high in a make up store very dangerous). Sometimes I find myself falling into the clear gloss only side of life or plain lip moisturiser, my lips are often dry and every now and again they just seem to crack no matter what I do. This poses a problem, I love colour! Although my fear of looking like I have applied my favourite OPI shatter to my lips has me running away.

However the world of blogging has inspired me and given me much advice. I love reading all the posts about beauty and seeing how creative people can be with a product in ways I would never have imagined. On this particular occasion I had come across a posts by Cava with Daisy about a lip scrub produced by Lush. With her advice I decided to give it a go!

The product promises to keep lips in top condition and tasting of candy floss, mmmmmm!!! The minute I opened the jar the sweet smell had me craving fairy floss. Before you start thinking it takes a mammoth effort to figure out how to use this product let me explain just a simple amount on your finger, rub it on your lips and buff it away and you’re done! After scrubbing away my lips felt so smooth and soft.




A common mistake people often make is just applying make up without preparing the surface. In order for any product to go on correctly the surface needs to be properly prepared after all “not to prime is a crime” – Napolean Perdis.¬†The only downside to this product was when taking it out of the jar it was a bit tricky due to its sugary texture, but this does not take away from the benefits it actually worked. I would recommend using it prior to applying lipstick or gloss to create a smooth canvas. Who said preparation takes too long? A mere few seconds and you’re ready to go!

Give it a try, I’d love to hear your feedback ūüôā

The sky was coloured a midnight black, the warm temperature of summer seemed like nothing more than a distant memory teasing her. Slowly the crisp temperature had crept in like some forgotten enemy. Yet with the cooler weather came something brilliant and inspiring, the rain. While some think the cooler temperature and the rain are depressing for her they took her to another world. A world where cosy slippers and warm pjamas ruled, a world where the moment was fleeting and cosy nights in were rare. 

With this realisation she sat down by the window with her steamy cup of forrest fruit tea. As she put it down on the table she could see the steam escaping from the top of the cup while the purple colour of her tea got deeper and deeper, just like Alice down the rabbit hole. As she sat at her computer she could hear the patter of the rain against her window and for a moment if she closed her eyes she imagined a singular drop glistening and streaming down her window. Such purity for her seemed rare in a world where she was confronted with so much drama. 

Where others would complain about the weather and how it was miserable she flourished. She sat at her computer poised waiting for the creativity to flow from her fingertips like water from a fountain. She began writing tales about her life, so many different tales of happiness, love, heartache and joy. So many things that when she looked back it was hard for her to believe that all of this had happened to but one person, her. But with the weather came inspiration and a journey into another world. She loved the freedom and joy that the words she typed gave her and with each word her excitement for writing grew stronger. 

For a second she paused and listened to the sound of the world around her but almost as if she had been away for a lifetime she dove straight back down the rabbit hole of inspiration into a world of once upon a times and happily ever afters. Her very own fairytale had come true she got her happily ever after writing while listening to the rain.

~The End~