Wish you were here

23Aug14

Time heals all wounds…..

This is something I’ve been told constantly my entire life but after actually experiencing one of the ultimate wounds life can throw your way I have to say this is not the case. To me time only conceals the wound, its not as obvious to those around you as it was the first day it happened but underneath it all, the smile, the laugh, the pain of that wound is still there.

I don’t want to sound like a diva or a brat but when you lose someone so close to you, someone that you can’t ever replace the pain of that never goes away. Sure you learn to live with the hand you’ve been dealt but it affects every minor and large aspect of your life. These emotions all began to resurface for me when during the wedding process of one of my friends. She is the sweetest girl and deserves all the happiness in the world and I am so happy for her. However seeing her at events with her mother just made me realise how much I had been covering up the piece of me that was missing.

It was the most beautiful thing seeing how happy they both were and seeing the love that a mother has for her daughter and vice versa. It was at that moment that I realised time hadn’t healed my wound and I would be carrying this wound with me for the rest of my life and it was going to hurt. I felt like life had taken from me the one thing I both wanted and needed, my mother.

I thought about all the things I would have to do alone. All the things I could never call my mum and tell her. Buying my first home, meeting the right guy, if I ever got married or had children. At all those moments in life the wound of losing her would feel as raw as it did that very day. This is not supposed to be depressing or sound like jealousy but rather to really appreciate what you have. Don’t ever miss an opportunity to say I love you or just to give her a moment of your day. She knows you have a life, she wants you to, but just take a moment to realise how lucky and special you are to have her everyday.

 

Sending love to all the mothers out there and all the ones watching over us.

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