Saying goodbye…

16Aug14

A few days ago the world was made aware of the sudden and tragic passing of one of the world’s most beloved actors and comedians. It wasn’t just the man we lost, we lost all of the characters he played. But more than just a character Robin Williams, and this I believe is what many of the critics are failing to see, was human. He was a father, husband, friend. This is obviously evident through the outpouring of grief and the shock that I witnessed in my office alone upon hearing of his death.

What probably shocked me the most was that a man who seemed so happy and made the world laugh could have felt the way he did which ultimately resulted in his death. As the images of Robin Williams flashed across the TV screen I couldn’t help but see him in a new light. The man who brought Mrs Doubtfire to my life appeared to have a certain level of sadness in his smile and eyes. A pain so raw. 

I can’t say that I know how he felt because no one except him knew that but I can relate. After my mother passed away I didn’t see a point to anything, all my hopes and plans for the future had all involved her and I couldn’t bear to think or try to do any of them without her. This deepness didn’t happen straight away mostly for a while I just felt numb but after I had my first set back in life since my mum died I didn’t know what to do or how to cope and the one person who I turned to wasn’t there and that’s when t hit me harder than I ever could have imagined. 

While I obviously never took my own life I feel like I can relate to that sense of hopelessness and pain. It’s not something that you can just switch off or snap out of and when people tell you it’ll get better you just want to scream, “How! how would you know? Have you been here?”. In this instance of the loss of my mother while some areas of my life have gotten significantly better one aspect that totally blows everyones theory of it’ll get better totally out of the water is how badly I miss her and how badly I just want one more hug, to tell her how my day is or even just to be told off for leaving my stuff around. The pain of missing her gets worse.

But the main point I’m trying to make there is that people who criticise someone who is going through depression or pain of any kind need to be kinder and try and understand how someone else might be feeling. They may not have been there, they may not know what it feels like. Sometimes all a person needs is to have someone listen to them just blurt everything out, they don’t need anyone to fix their problems they just need someone to hear them. So next time when you see someone looking a little down, or see a hidden crack in the smile of a friend who always seems happy just talk, listen and be there. It doesn’t take a lot but to that other person you may be giving so much more than you think. 

Rest in Peace Robin. 

 

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